You can’t recall when it started, but you know it’s present now. It’s that sinking funny feeling you get in your stomach, possibly an intuition that makes you believe that your spouse is stepping out and having an affair and cheating on you. Maybe things just don’t seem right or as they used to with your husband or wife. Is there a new unexplainable tension in your relationship? Maybe something has changed with your girlfriend or boyfriend…. Regardless of whether it is an emotional affair or a physical affair it is still cheating. Infidelity is infidelity.

Many people feel that they are the only one that has ever been humiliated and hurt by a cheating spouse. However, adultery, infidelity, or cheating, whatever you want to call it, crosses all social barriers. It doesn’t matter how much money you make, where you are located geographically, what you do for a living or what you don’t do for a living, or any other factors-cheating is present in all walks of and stations in life. Many people think that men are the most likely to cheat, but women are nearly as prone to cheating.

Do you want to catch them in the act of have enough evidence to confront them?  Then keep reading!

Here’s a list of several signs, or “red flag indicators,” that your spouse is cheating. You’ll notice that they are not geared more towards any particular gender. Also, it is quite possible that one or several of these indicators are present, but that doesn’t mean your spouse is cheating. What may be a red flag in one relationship may be nothing to be concerned about in another relationship.  Some of these indicators might be “tongue in cheek” while others might be a dead giveaway and definitive proof. No matter what these signs and symptoms of cheating need to be examined and considered in their totality.

Proper and complete investigation by a professional is required to reach an appropriate conclusion.  

1. Birth control is found and your husband has had a vasectomy or your wife has had a tubal ligation.
2. Mutual friends start acting awkwardly around you (they either have knowledge of the cheating or have been told stories about how you’re a bad wife or husband)
3. Your husband or wife stops confiding in your or asking your for advice and input.
4. An email account is set up and you are not told of it.
5. The spouse leaves the house smelling of one fragrance but arrives home smelling of another.
6. They join a gym and start a arduous physical training program.
7. Your husband or wife begins to keep a change of clothes hidden in the trunk of their vehicle or an unusual amount of clothes are being stored at the gym or inside a gym duffle bag.
8. Your wife or husband opens a post office box account without telling you.
9. Your spouse buys a prepaid cellular phone or starts a new cellular phone account and doesn’t tell you.
10. Maybe a new cellular account is opened and billing is sent to the spouse’s office.
11. Your spouse begins regularly deleting incoming phone calls from the call history and/or caller ID log on their cellular phone.
12. Your spouse starts to regularly delete all incoming emails when they used to accumulate.
13. You receive telephone calls where the caller hangs up when they hear your voice.
14. Your wife or husband uses a low voice or whisper when talking on the phone or hangs up quickly.
15. Your spouse tells you that you can get in touch with them at a different telephone number than they are normally at.
16. Your spouse becomes accusatory asking if you are being true to them possibly out of their own feelings of guilt.
17. Starts asking hypothetical questions like, “Do you think it is possible that a person can love more than one person at a time?
18. He or she buys themselves new underwear.
19. You find intimate clothing or gifts that you did not give your spouse.
20. Your husband or wife insists that the children’s car seat and/or toys be kept out of their vehicle.
21. Your wife or husband stops wearing their wedding ring.
22. Your spouse has a new and/or sudden interest to assist in doing the laundry.
23. Has unexplained scratches or bruises on their body.
24. Your spouse has a sudden desire to try to love making techniques.
25. Your husband or wife stops having sex with you all together.
26. Your wife or husband suddenly wants to have more sex with you or wants sex more often with you.
27. Your spouse supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it is not reflected in their paycheck or finances.
28. Your wife or husband starts fights in order to stomp out of the house.
29. You find out by accident or coincidence that your husband or wife took a vacation or sick day from work but according to them they were at work that day or at that time.
30. Your spouse’s co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.
31. Your husband or wife instructs you to not visit them at their place of work.
32. Your spouse shows sudden interest in a different genre of music.
33. Your husband or wife has a newfound preoccupation with their appearance.
34. He or she spends and excessive amount of time on the computer –especially after you have gone to bed.
35. Your husband or wife is away from home, either at night or on trips, more than they used to be.
36. Their clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or cologne.
37. The amount of money being deposited into a checking account unexplainably drops off.
38. Your husband or wife seems to be more “touchy,” has mood swings, or is easily angered.
39. Your husband or wife loses attention in activities in your home.
40. Your spouse had a clear change of attitude towards everyone in the home.
41. They display uncharacteristic erratic behavior.
42. They sneak out of the house.
43. Your spouse goes to the store to get something simple and is gone for hours.
44. Your husband or wife has an unexplainable increase in their vehicle’s mileage reading or increase in their gasoline expenses.
45. You notice credit card charges for gifts that you did not receive.
46. You notice an increase in ATM withdrawals.

Remember: these indicators must be analyzed in their totality. The presence of one indicator does not provide a definitive answer to the question.

So, how do you catch your spouse in the act of cheating? For one, seek the assistance of an outside 3^rd party. Not a friend or family member, but a professional that deals with this sort of thing on a regular basis.

You need to hire a Private Investigator that can work on your behalf to obtain the direct evidence you need.  You need to hire a Private Investigator so that you have peace of mind!

What can you do yourself? First and foremost, trust your intuition, but gain confirmation. Start looking at your spouse’s overall behaviors and any change in their appearance. Listen closely to your spouse for any off color or out of character remarks being made. Also, pay attention to inconsistencies or lies. Take note of any new smells on your spouse’s person or in their vehicle. This can range from unfamiliar fragrances to incriminating sexual odors. Stay vigilant, but not intrusive of their privacy.  

Also, document everything. Do not rely on your memory. Record your findings in a journal and keep it under lock and key. This will make it easier for you to analyze what is happening and determine patterns. Continue your observations and things will begin to fall into place. 

You must also be disciplined and restrain yourself. It’ll take a large effort on your part to keep your mouth shut as you develop evidence against your spouse. There will be an appropriate time for confrontation later…. 

Most importantly: DO NOT jeopardize your safety or legal liability in an attempt to gain insight or evidence of any affair or cheating! 

There are several applicable State and Federal laws that must be adhered to in this type of investigation. Let a professional Private Investigator take over in these instances.


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